On October 17th, 1992, Steve made a surprise visit to Joe and Jan’s house. At the time, Steve was living in Long Island and he would stop up to Albany unannounced whenever he had the time. This time Steve seemed distanced from his parents and had something running through his mind. Joe and Jan, being the parents that they are, sensed something troubling him. Jan was afraid he might have lost his job while Joe thought he might have gotten a girl pregnant. Joe recalls, “Little did I know how far from the truth my worries were.”
Finally, as Joe and Jan sat down after finishing a batch of meatballs, Steve felt it was the right time to break the news. Steve simply put it, ”Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you, I’m gay.” Joe and Jan’s immediate reaction was to embrace him with all the emotions they had in them. What they didn’t know was that he had left his bags in the car thinking they wouldn’t allow him to stay in their home. Joe recalls the guilt he felt, “Where did we go wrong? Didn’t we let Steve know how much we loved him? Did we ever do anything to lead him to believe we would ever stop loving him?”
This love grew stronger than ever as Joe and Jan gave Steve their full support. This was especially unique coming from Joe. He recalls what Steve has done for him, “He has shown me that a man of 71with his macho Italian upbringing, a man who normally has his opinions cast in stone, can become a tolerant, giving, understanding human being.” This morph from the “mild homophobe” that Joe referred to himself as during the 1960’s to the proud father of a gay son that we know today tell us a lot about the kind of father and man Joe is. He would do anything for his children and grandchildren and he certainly wouldn’t allow any opinions get in the way of their bond.
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