19 Home Sweet Home

Sometimes you don’t realize how much you love someone until you are away from them for about five months.  That is how I felt about my family while I was away for this first semester of college.  While college is going great and I’m making new friends and memories everyday, I keep finding the desire to have my family there to share in the good times.  All of this built up desire is what made December 12, 2008 such a great day.

Stepping off that train and onto the platform was quite the relief.  I had wanted to get back to Albany for weeks now with finals and term papers running through my head.  Getting back to Mordella road with Joe and Jan, Mom and Dad, meatballs and even Brendan waiting for me seemed to erase all the long stressful nights in the library.  I forgot about the final I had taken just twenty-four hours earlier and my only concern became hugs. 

That’s how our family works; no matter if you’ve been gone for five months or five hours you can count on a hug from somebody when you return.  Whether you are being congratulated on your new son or daughter or whether you are mourning the loss of a family member; you will get a hug.  As I walked through the kitchen at Joe and Jan’s I could smell forty eight years of cooking, feel the warmth of each family member’s love and even sit down and taste another one of Papa Joe’s meatballs.  I love this family with everything inside me and I’m blessed to have them in my life.  Now if you would excuse me, I have some hugs to attend to.

18 Steve Comes Out

On October 17^th, 1992, Steve made a surprise visit to Joe and Jan’s house.  At the time, Steve was living in Long Island and he would stop up to Albany unannounced whenever he had the time.  This time Steve seemed distanced from his parents and had something running through his mind.  Joe and Jan, being the parents that they are, sensed something troubling him.  Jan was afraid he might have lost his job while Joe thought he might have gotten a girl pregnant.  Joe recalls, “Little did I know how far from the truth my worries were.”

Finally, as Joe and Jan sat down after finishing a batch of meatballs, Steve felt it was the right time to break the news.  Steve simply put it, ”Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you, I’m gay.”  Joe and Jan’s immediate reaction was to embrace him with all the emotions they had in them.  What they didn’t know was that he had left his bags in the car thinking they wouldn’t allow him to stay in their home.  Joe recalls the guilt he felt, “Where did we go wrong? Didn’t we let Steve know how much we loved him?  Did we ever do anything to lead him to believe we would ever stop loving him?”

This love grew stronger than ever as Joe and Jan gave Steve their full support.  This was especially unique coming from Joe.  He recalls what Steve has done for him, “He has shown me that a man of 71with his macho Italian upbringing, a man who normally has his opinions cast in stone, can become a tolerant, giving, understanding human being.”  This morph from the “mild homophobe” that Joe referred to himself as during the 1960’s to the proud father of a gay son that we know today tell us a lot about the kind of father and man Joe is.  He would do anything for his children and grandchildren and he certainly wouldn’t allow any opinions get in the way of their bond.

16 Donna and Tim Start a Family

My parents, Tim and Donna Murphy, had their wedding on September 26th, 1987 at St. Patrick’s Roman Catholic Church in Watervliet, New York. They had met while working at Federal Express a few years before their engagement. My father recalls asking my grandfather for permission to marry his daughter. Joe’s timely response was, “Sure... which one?” My father was immediately introduced to Joe’s notorious sense of humor. Another unique memory that my father had of his future in-laws occurred at a dinner at the Basile residence while he and my mother were dating. He recalls seeing a portrait of a meatball sub on the wall in the dining room. My father knew the Basiles owned a sub shop but, until this moment, he did not understand the magnitude of passion for food that the Basiles shared.
After the wedding, my parents took their honeymoon in Ireland. While many newly-weds usually go to a tropical resort or cruise, my parents both had a passion for the Irish culture and felt it was more beautiful than any sandy beach in the world. They promised each other that after they made a family they would one day take them back and give them the Irish experience. Sure enough, just over twenty one years after their first visit, the my parent’s were back with my brothers and I.

17 The Grandchildren

July 30th, 1988 marked the beginning of the final generation of the Basile Family with the birth of my older brother Tim. The grandchildren that came to follow were Meghan, myself, Brendan, Teddy, and Andy. Much like Joe and Jan, the parents’ generation were fortunate enough to send all of their children to private middle and junior high schools. Another aspect that followed through the generations was the Baptism and practice of Catholicism by each of the grandchildren. This example shows how certain family values are handed down through generations.
There remains a strong connection to Christian Brothers Academy in the academic careers of the grandchildren. Tim and myself have already graduated from the academy while Brendan and Teddy currently attend. Andy is attending St. Pius X school where all of the other nephews also graduated from. Meghan went to Christ the King Junior High School and then Colonie Central High school. She is currently attending the State University of New York at Oneonta. Tim is currently attending Manhattan College and I am attending St. John Fisher College. Again, a strong private and religious influence remains in the selection of schools for both generations.

All three generations of the Basiles get together for dinners at Joe and Jan’s house a couple times a month. All of the grand parents and parents eat at the dining room while the children eat at the kitchen table. Having so many family members makes it harder to have everyone in attendance at these events. The only day throughout the year when all of the Basiles are under one roof are at the Christmas dinner. The Christmas dinner is the only mandatory family function in the Basile family.

14 Fashion and Culture of the 1960s and 1970s

Along with the political and social changes in American culture during the 1960s came a music and fashion lifestyle that drastically differs from that of the average American in the 1950s. The 1960s brought the sudden explosion of drug and alcohol abuse. While the Basiles had never had any problem with such abuse in their own children, it was popular for young Americans to use drugs that include marijuana, LSD (acid), cocaine and heroin. My mother, Donna, believes her lack of exposure to such drugs is mostly due to her attendance at a private Catholic school her entire life. Her and her siblings have heard of such drug use from their friends that attend public school but very rarely at their own. Joe and Jan’s biggest concern with such abuse was with the use of cigarettes and binge drinking. They would award their children one hundred dollars of they didn’t smoke one cigarette until they were eighteen. It just so happens that my mother, Donna, was the only child to got caught sneaking a cigarette.

Fashion during this era involved radical changes, patterns, colors and styles. Woman’s fashion gradually shifted from very short skirts to very long skirts from the late 1960s to the mid 1970s. Men began wearing opened collared shirts and both genders began to wear platform shoes and boots. Both the drug use and sudden fashion shift have a direct correlation with the musical culture during that time. After the “British Invasion” of many popular rock bands from England, Americans began using them as models for clothes, habits and social norms.

15 The Affects of Vatican II

Joe and Jan wanted to provide a religious aspect to their children’s lives but putting them through Catholic school, always attending Sunday Mass, and being involved at Blessed Sacrament Church in Albany, New York. Being a family that always practiced religious sacraments and Masses, it can easily be understood why the Second Ecumenical Council of the Vatican, or Vatican II was such a big change for the Basiles. Vatican II was an event lead by the Pope that called for change in the church. Some examples of these changes included the priest saying the Mass in the native language of the people attending and the entire alter is now faced towards the pews. These changes were made in the celebration of Mass to allow the people attending to become more involved and better understand what is being done on the altar.

Having such a change occur in a religious community can produce varying responses amongst practicing believers. Some people who opposed Vatican II believed that making such changes pulled the Church away from its historic and ancient ideals. As for the people who supported the change, they felt that it was necessary in allowing the practicing believers to become more involved in the Mass. It is more popular to see the younger generation, like Joe and Jan’s children for example, become more accepting of this change because they were barely exposed to the traditional form of Mass therefore never creating a sense of connection.

13 Big Dom's Sub Shop

In 1972, Joe bought thirty-five percent of his brother Dom’s sub shop that came to be known as “Big Dom’s”. At that time it was located on Ontario St. in Albany, New York. After Joe became a part owner, he mastered the expansion of the business into five more locations before 1980, starting on Central Ave. in Albany (1972), then Latham (1975), Troy (1976), Western Ave. in Albany (1977) and finally one in Rotterdam (1978). These sub shops became a part of the Albany culinary culture and each family member had to do their share to help the family business. Every one of Joe and Jan’s kids and even some of their friends had a part time job at one of the “Big Dom’s” at one point or another.
Joe says that he could use all the help he could get. Owning six shops across Albany County is very difficult with only an average of one hundred and thirty full time employees and about another hundred part time employees. Joe recalls the most challenging part of the business was maintaining control of each location with such a slim amount of employees. Although there was a chaotic and tough time while during the company’s expansion period, Joe knows that it was well work it. Due to him and Jan’s hard work, they could afford to send all of their kids to private high schools and colleges. This was very rare in that era and Joe knows he was a little more fortunate than the average American family at that time.

12 The Basiles Under Nixon

In the 1968 election, Joe Basile voted for a man that he considered the “lesser of two evils” along with almost the entire nation. Richard Nixon is known for many things throughout his presidency and not many of them are very good. Like many other citizens who voted for Nixon that year, Joe felt Nixon had fallen through on far too many of his promises. Nixon’s coined phrase “Silent Majority”, referred to the majority of Americans that opposed what had become of the United States during the 1960s but simply did not express it. To spite this attempt at convincing the American people Nixon is the answer, Joe referred to himself as the “verbal majority”. In other words, Joe felt that he and the rest of the country were very expressive of how poorly they thought of Nixon.
To permanently scar his already terrible first term, Nixon decided to lead the Watergate scandal. After making it clear that he tried to spy on the other party’s campaign he then became the only president in the history of the United States to resign. Every American family, including the Basiles, was feeling aggravation, confusion, deceit and most of all embarrassment on a global level. The president of the most powerful nation in the world had lied to his own people on numerous occasions and then fled the scene of the crime without even a slap on the wrist.

11 The Basile's During Vietnam

The Vietnam War is possibly the most confrontational war in American history. With America entering Vietnam at the peak of civil right protest and student activism, it was a war that the general public did not feel was necessary. Joe on the other hand felt it was absolutely necessary because the Vietcong were killing innocent people and trying to become world leaders. What he did not approve of was how the United States went about carrying it out. He felt we needed more troops and that we were politically split at home. This division can be taken on a national level and even a domestic level in many cases.

Like his father, Michael (the eldest child) attended Christian Brother’s Academy. In a military environment such as that, activism and any form of protest was highly unacceptable. But like so many other youth of Michael’s age, he felt his voice had to be heard. So at a parade that the academy was taking part in, Michael attempted to wear a black arm band over his dress blue uniform with some of his fellow cadets to protest America’s involvement in the Vietnam War. When Joe spotted it, he immediately forced him to remove it because he knew Michael could have gotten in serious trouble. Joe also believed the lack of support that the troops received was another direct influence on our nation’s success. This difference in thinking not only shows the division of political believes but a symbolism of the feud between protective parents and rebellious children.

10 Student Activism

Almost every social and political movement in the 1960s can be rooted in the movement and progress of the educated youth. College students of that generation are responsible for the civil rights, women’s rights and gay liberation movements. Demanding to be heard by the public and government officials, the educated youth had a voice in every social shift and every political maneuver throughout the 1960s. Joe felt that such participation on student activism was necessary and that it helped to change the nation’s views. His speculation of why this activism came about is that the higher level of education that that generation was given allowed them to better understand and formulate personal morals, ethics, beliefs and understanding of how the country should be run.

One of the most memorable and infamous moments in the history of student activism is the shootings at Kent State University. This tragic event involved a large protest of Kent State University students against the American invasion of Cambodia. The National Guard was called to keep the crowd under control but the soldiers ended up shooting fifteen students, killing four of them. Joe can recall the national response being one of aggression toward the government’s actions and sympathy for the students’ mission. He claims the event was a huge wake-up call for the nation’s adults because they know any one of those kids could have been their own. It truly opened the eyes of whoever hadn’t noticed the student’s involvement in our nation’s policies.

09 Gay Liberation Movement

While the 1960s are primarily known for the civil rights movement, the gay liberation movement was also put underway as a civil right. With the extreme demand for personal freedoms by America’s youth came new and unorthodox public acceptances. While the gay liberation movement was taking gigantic leaps in largely populated cities such as New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles it was still very difficult to adapt the ideologies and customs of many conservative Americans. Joe being one of these conservatives was originally against the gay liberation movement.

Joe and his siblings were raised by his two parents who were born and raised in Italy. Joe speculates that this may be one of the factors in influencing his early social ethics, saying he was raised in the, “old-school”. This fraise refers to conservative, traditional, and orthodox mindsets that were popularly conditioned from generation to generation. Joe even admitted that at that point in his life he would consider himself a “mild homophobe”. This being added with a lifetime of strong religious teaching and beliefs, it was naturally difficult for Joe to accept the idea of people of the same sex in love. Due to the vast majority of people with similar ethics during this time, so many homosexuals had to hide their true sexual identity in fear of public humiliation.

08 The Basile's during the Civil Rights Movement

With the turn of the decade into the 1960s came the sudden foundation and drastic expansion of the civil rights movement. Being from the North, the Basile’s were not exactly in the thick of the racial, gender and sexuality conflict. Despite this displacement from the most tense regions of the country, the Basile’s along with every other northern family had a voice in the argument. While the south was in a reckless standoff, the north had already desegregated schools and public facilities for the most part. The Basile’s, for one, supported equal rights among different races and genders and were sure to teach their children that everyone is entitled to the same rights.

Along with most other families from that time period, Joe can recall the desegregation of Birmingham public schools. The conflict was between the black population and the white population, including the Alabama State Government. Being a man from the North who had already seen desegregated schools; it was startling to see the actions taken by local law enforcement in an attempt to ward off black protesters. He can remember seeing images of mauled black men who had been the victims of police beatings and police dog attacks. He was shocked to see such behavior because this desegregation had already taken place in the North, long before the contemplation of such a policy had even begun in the South.

07 Fashion and Culture of the 1950's

Fashion is continually adapting in American culture and the 1950’s are particularly known for some experimental designs in clothing. For the most part male fashion did not make huge strides in adaptation but it was becoming more popular to have single breasted suits compared to double breasted. Woman’s fashion would change throughout the entire year in order to maintain a consistent level of consumerism. The introduction of the bikini bathing suit came in the 1950’s and Joe recalls the name coming from an island where some nuclear testing took place. Integrating recent events into a consumer’s world helps to develop American advertising we see today.


Other stereotypical 1950’s culture was being shared by the Basiles including a finned station wagon as the family car. This station wagon had no seat belts or air bags and neither did most of the cars on the road. As the automobile industry began to boom, it was clear that driving safety became a bigger priority. With the crash test ratings and multiple airbags of today it is easy to compare and trace the evolution of the automobile industry.


The new idea of barbeques was also introduced in the 1950’s. Joe, being a man of the culinary arts himself, took right to it. Having a grill in the backyard allows for families to come together in a unique way. The barbeque boom also opened new doors such as above and in-ground pools. Joe was anxious to get one himself and it has been in use since the day it was installed. Things like the barbeque and pool coincide to bring a family or neighborhood together and can get endless use.

06 The Basiles and 1950's Politics

1950’s politics were a very influential time in the development of American policies today. Joe was directly affected by the Korean War. After returning from the Pacific he was still considered on reserve in the Navy and was requested to fight in Korea. He was so determined he would fight that after completing his first physical he actually had a going away party. To his displeasure, he ended up failing his second physical with a cyst on his spine. In retrospect, if Joe hadn’t have failed that second physical, he may have not dated Jan resulting in the Basile family being nonexistent.


Political events such as the Little Rock Nine were an eye opener to the Basile household and the country abroad. Such segregation as different colored bathrooms, water fountains, and other public facilities was considered ridiculous and certainly not practiced in the North. Joe and Jan can recall hearing such things on the news and sitting in disbelief and awe that something like this could be happening in their country. The civil rights movement quickly grew by the 1960’s, but before the segregation was exposed, the remainder of the country was blind to it.


The rise of the Cold War shook a bit of fear into the hearts of the American people, including the Basiles, during the 1950’s. Yet again the media is responsible for revealing horrors such as the nuclear testing in New Mexico and Arizona. Joe and Jan and even their older children Michael and Peggy recall blackouts and dug and cover drills. Although these drills are precautionary, it brought the nuclear war home which stirred a fear shared by all Americans.

05 The Working World

Joseph Basile has been influenced by his parent’s food businesses since he was a child. This would explain his career path in the culinary arts. After Joe was in trailer sales, he decided to work in his parent’s bakery on Central Ave., Albany. There he learned a lot about the business and how to properly run and food service. Using his experience at the bakery, he landed a job as the Assistant Food Director as the State University of New York at Albany. It was after this career shift that the Basiles could finally get some breathing room financially.


Janet Basile’s working experience was relatively rare for a mother of five in the 1950’s. Once her children began going to school she started a job working at Sears’s department store. While working in the catalogue department, Jan crucially added to the family’s income at a time when it was common for a family to have one source of income. After some time at Sear’s, Jan became a receptionist for a local doctor. Her ability to raise the children and immediately begin working was essential in the financial enhancement of the Basile family.

04 The Basile Children

Joseph and Janet Basile had four children from 1950 to 1960. They had Michael in 1954, Peggy in 1957, Stephen in 1959 and Donna, my mother, in 1960. After 1960, they had two miscarriages and then Antoinette was born in 1965. Raising as many as five children in that generation, although not unheard of, was becoming less and less popular as the years went on. Joe and Jan, on the other hand, deeply loved their children and were ready if another one were to come along.


The challenge of raising children properly seems to have become more difficult as the generations progress. Joe feels that raising his children would have been much more difficult if it had been in today’s generation. He feels that it was a much simpler process without the distractions and harmful influences that today’s youth have to become exposed to. He said that he never had a problem with his children watching too much television, or other technologies, and that drug and alcohol use was never a trouble for his children. Joe and Jan’s goal was to raise their children in a safe and healthy environment while providing them was a great education.

03 The Basile Homestead

After Joseph and Janet Basile returned from their honeymoon in 1953, they lived with Joe’s parents for a few months at the corner of North Main Ave. and Kent St. Once they financially got on their feet, they moved into 55 North Manning Blvd, Albany, and officially became home owners. In 1959, Joe and Jan moved to a trailer park owned by Joe’s parents. There, Joe worked in trailer sales under his parents.


The most recent and permanent move that Joe and Jan made was from the trailer park to 67 Mordella Rd, Albany. While using the trailer park as a temporary residence they bought a lot on Mordella and began building a home. Within a year of building, the Basile family was ready to move into their new home. On the day of the move-in, August 16, 1960, Jan unexpectedly went into labor for her fourth child Donna.


Mordella was an attractive neighborhood for the Basiles because it provided much needed space to a growing family of six. It was also a suburban area which Joe and Jan felt was the necessary environment in which to raise children. Many of the Basile’s friends were making a similar move to nicer neighborhoods at this time. This improved lifestyle did cost them enough to tighten their financial boundaries. With the house costing $24,500, appliances included, and a mortgage of $150 a month Joe and Jan had to struggle to maintain a financial balance.

02 The Basile Wedding

Joseph Basile proposed to Janet Smith on June 23rd, 1952. On this day, Jan had graduated from Vincentian Institute and had celebrated her Eighteenth birthday. Jan’s remarkable maturity is a good example of how it was more popular to marry at a young age. Having such a commitment at an time of immaturity may and have caused marriages to fall apart. In today’s society it is more common to marry around the age of twenty eight. This allows people to steadily mature and develop before choosing a mate. Whereas Jan becomes an adult, fiancé and high school graduate in one day.

The couple took each other’s hand in marriage at Blessed Sacrament Church, of Albany, in 1953. The Basile’s still attend Blessed Sacrament Church and Joe was in the church choir until recently. Joe’s best man was Ed Rogers; a schoolmate of his and a dear friend at that time in his life. Jan’s maid of honor was Edna Smith; her sister in law and still close friend till this day. The newlyweds took their honeymoon in Miami and Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

01 Joe and Jan Before the Wedding

Joseph Nigro Basile and Janet Mary Smith had a long history together before that fateful day when Jan walked down the aisle. Jan’s mother Norah had been working as a maid for the Basile’s before either of the two was born. So naturally, Joe and Jan formed a relationship at a very young age through their parents. Their relationship began to grow as Jan would help her mother at the Basile’s home at North Main St. and Kent St. in Albany, New York.

Not coming from as much money and with her husband’s early passing, Norah needed to be the bread winner for the Smith family. Keeping house for the Basile's was a good way for her to make a living and provide for her children. Jan would help her mother work at the Basile's at a young age to make it easier on her mother. Her presence at the Basile's home naturally strengthened her relationship with each family member, Joe included. Despite his obvious lack of intimate feeling for Jan during his adolescents, they would have their first date when he returned from the Pacific.

Joe and Jan’s first date was at a dinner theater on Central Ave., in Albany. Dinner theaters were a popular social location where a couple could have dinner and then be entertained by a play, comedian or other stage shows. At the time, Jan was seventeen and attending Vincentian Institute and Joe was twenty-five and had recently returned home from World War II. Joe had previously left Christian Brothers Academy, in Albany, to join the armed forces at the age of seventeen. Joe was a sailor in the Navy and had served for three years in the Pacific.